Missing you, Paige

I miss you.

I remember seeing you for the first time at church. You had a bandana over your bald head. You were pale. We had moved into the neighborhood the same month. I was so overwhelmed with our move and my pregnancy for several months and didn't get to know you. Then, in the fall, I saw you one day at church--you looked fabulous! You were tan, and had the cutest short hair cut. As you passed by me, I said, "You look GREAT!" And you responded, "So, do you!" Then a week or two later, I was playing the organ at church. You came up to me and asked if I was the one walking early in the mornings on the parkway. "Yes," I replied. "Would you like a partner?" you asked. Then it began. Our early morning walks for the next five years. We would meet at the corner around 5:20am and loop up around the ridge. During our time together we even trained for and ran a 1/2 marathon.

Our friendship grew and developed into one that I will always treasure and hold close to my heart. You were always there for me, willing to help in any way. You listened, and taught me how to listen as well. We shared so much about our families, our lives--things others probably have no idea about us. We shared secrets. We shared laughter, and we shed tears together. I enjoyed watching sunrises with you in the spring and summer, studying the constellations in the dark winter mornings. Soaking ourselves in the rain. Making the first footprints in the snow. 

It was such a blessing to see you become a mother. Your sweet little family is all that you ever wanted. Your year with Esme was such a dream come true. I was so hoping you would make it to her birthday.

Thank you for making time for me, even when you were feeling so sick. I will never forget our last walk together a few weeks ago. I knew then you weren't well. You were so strong, and so determined to beat this.

I am so thankful to have come over to visit you when I was inspired to do so. To have a sweet conversation with you. To see you in the hospital Monday night and you saw me and said, "Oh, hi" with a smile on your face. To be there on Tuesday afternoon, to say goodbye. To sit in the room with James, Mary, Caroline, and Carmen . . . your body there but your spirit was gone. To see the cars in rush-hour traffic driving by, with no idea that our time in the room had stopped. And that a hero had left the world.

As I struggle through these days, with random unexpected moments of crying and sadness, I am reminded of how blessed we are to have this experience of life. To be thankful for my healthy body, to treasure every. single. moment. with my kids and husband.

You are a gem, Paige. A true treasure.

"Alrighty, my friend. Have a good day today."